I wrote this poem in September of 2023.
in purgatory, I live
waiting for the finality of my longest chapter of love
to end
In purgatory, residual anger and resentment
Invades me-
and I turn into an emotional time bomb
Waiting to explode
In purgatory, I wait for my sentencing,
praying the judge sees things my way
and honors what is best for broken family
by Julia Mitchell
Photo via Pixabay
Moving to a new home is a big change for anyone, and it can create quite a bit of stress and anxiety before, during, and after you’re settled in. There’s so much to think about, and if you have children, their thoughts and feelings on the changes are important to consider too. And while this can be a difficult time for the family as they adjust to the new home, it can actually be a good time for you to learn new, positive habits and break free of any unhealthy choices you’ve made in the past.
Moving to a new place is like starting over fresh. Instead of letting that stress get to you, think of all the ways you can improve upon your life and living situation and put them into action. From Life on the BPD, here are some of the best ways to do just that.
Declutter
After you’ve lived in a home for a little while, you begin to accumulate quite a few belongings. Go through your home well before the move and declutter. Throw away anything you haven’t used in a while that can’t be salvaged, donate old clothing, shoes, and toys, and mark things that don’t get used but have value to be put in storage. When you get to your new home, you’ll feel like a great weight has been lifted because you won’t have to find room for things you don’t need.
Clean up
Moving to a new home is a great excuse to make positive changes in how you keep your house. Having a place to come to after a long day at work that exudes calm, cleanliness, and tranquility can help reduce your stress levels and prevent anxiety from creeping in. It’s also just plain good for your physical health to have a home that is dust-free and well-organized, and it can help boost your energy levels when you’re not constantly battling a cluttered home. This is a great time to get the entire family involved in keeping things neat and clean; make it a point to let them know that after the move, everyone will need to take responsibility for their messes and keep the new house looking nice.
Pursue education goals
A move is the perfect time to reassess and reestablish your educational goals, giving you a fresh start in more ways than one. If you’ve been considering a career change, this is the ideal moment to pursue a computer science degree online, which offers the flexibility to study while you settle into your new home. Earning a computer science degree online can open doors to exciting opportunities in the tech industry, providing you with the skills needed for a thriving career. Use this transition as a chance to align your education with your future ambitions.
Get rid of toxic people
A move represents a fresh start, and that includes getting rid of the people in your life who don’t support you or who create a toxic environment. This is an opportunity to surround yourself with positive influences and to cultivate relationships that uplift and inspire you. It’s important for your health — both emotional and mental — to have control over your relationships, so take a good long look at the people in your life and ask yourself if they are truly a friend. Prioritizing those who genuinely care for your well-being will make your new beginning even more fulfilling.
Get healthy
What’s a fresh start if not a reason to focus on your health? If you’ve already got the mental and emotional sides covered, take a look at your physical health and ask yourself if you could do better. Making a move can be exhausting in more ways than one, so it’s important to find ways to burn off that stress and fatigue. Get familiar with any bike trails, public pools, or gyms you might be interested in and make note of them, so that when you’re feeling low you can give yourself a boost with a good workout; or you can look for ways to get in exercise that don’t feel like exercise.
Remember that a move can be hard on little ones, so get them involved in your campaign to spruce up and put a positive spin on things. Get them excited for this next chapter by framing it as an adventure, and try to be patient when they express their worries about it.
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
what cannot be said aloud will be written in a poem
for better or worse
I have a tendency to process my emotions
in metaphors and verse
and while many wouldn’t call what I write poetry
because I lack technique or an MFA
or whatever else I’m missing
I’m going to keep writing my raw emotions
Down and sharing them
My words hold value,
My words have power
And it has helped and a few other souls
when our feelings lack logical explanations
and reasons
For better or worse I’m going to continue
to tell my story in poetry
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
the shelf of my bookcase breaks, and my poetry notebooks fall
every single one of my love stories scattered on the floor
Failure after failure
Were any of them worth the effort?
Was the experience worth the suffering?
Maybe it was for the inspiration behind my prose and poetry
and the growth I’ve had
Still, that doesn’t seem like an adequate answer
What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
No one is coming to rescue you, princess
no matter how much you wish to be saved or try your hardest to manifest
a prince to carry the heavy burden of responsibility
you’re constantly lifting
No one is coming to save you, princess
It’s up to you to save yourself
It’s up to you to continue to work hard
and be selective on what you expend
your energy on
No one is coming to help you, princess
You’re no longer relying on others
for a sense of identity or security
and you’re now an independent Queen
who’s learned only she herself
can save herself and is wise enough to block out
any negativity or toxicity
that threatens her autonomy
or wants to bring on another
Emotional relapse
Day 10 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. The prompt was “Leaves on the Road “.
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
My bra is the milkshake that brings men to my playground
It gives me the cleavage that makes them feel like they’re in love
They’ll claim it’s my words or my eyes they’re in love with , but let’s not kid ourselves
It’s really my majestic breasts that pop out with their own personalities
they fuel their many exotic and erotic fantasies
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
Gotta flex for my next ex
let me post some thirst trap pic
of my cleavage
and add a profound quote
about my self discovery journey
but nothing too crazy
I don’t want to scare him away
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
My love data tells me I shouldn’t try again because every time
I crash and burn and cause trauma and drama
because every time it ends, I get hateful and want revenge
and While I do appreciate the poetry that comes
after every broken relationship
I don’t think I can withstand the heartbreak and hardship
the next time it ends
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
Am I doomed to men trying me on
just so they can change their minds-
days, weeks, months, years later
is it some kind of karmic energy in me
I still haven’t found the remedy for?
Perhaps I really need to stop trying
to find hope in love
and stick to what’s working for me
and that’s being alone
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
could we have done more?
could his story have had a different ending?
could we have all been more compassionate-
more open instead of entrenched and absorbed in our own worlds?
all of these questions are asked, days or week or even months
later, wondering-if we carry any blame or responsibility
when someone ends their life with their own two hands
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
all of us have been or will be dumpster fires
it doesn’t matter who you are
man, woman or non binary
white, black or brown
with or without a mental health diagnosis
working class or upper class
at one point or another we’ll all be toxic to another person
or to ourselves
some of us admit it and cringe
some of us will ignore it or blame someone else
all of us have been or will be dumpster fires
it’s a rite of passage
I wrote this poem in August of 2023.
the outline of her body in the middle of the road-
told the most tragic of stories
she wasn’t looking when she crossed the street
she was lost in her thoughts
and the driver speeding didn’t see her
and splat went her body
death came quickly to her
her last thought was mission accomplished
but the world thought
another victim of an unexpected and tragic circumstance
Life on the BPD 