poetry: pretty existence

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

a most beautiful view of Oxapampa

a pretty existence is presented on social media
for the world to see
how we’re all living our best lives
seldom do we share our struggles
because we’re all too scared of being vulnerable
because we’re scared of being perceived as weak
for showing who we really are

poetry: we all fuck up

I wrote this poem in April of 2023.

me in Oxapampa in April of 2023

we all fuck up from time to time and have to remind ourselves
we are not our worst mistakes, our terrible breakups, or our emotional relapses
to be human is to make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes will feel catastrophic
and that’s when your inner critic with the help of shame and guilt will step in
trying to make you feel like a piece of shit, worthless and useless when it comes to everything
acknowledge it, honor it if you have to but don’t get stuck in it
because this is not the entirety of you
this is just a small fraction of your being-
don’t get caught up in the worst of yourself-
remind yourself of your strength and the gifts that you bring into this world

poetry: always

I wrote this poem in April of 2023.

always never works out for me

Always has never been a friend of mine
because of the many lies I associate with it
I’ll always be here for you-
I’ll always love you
I’ll always be your friend
so now I never believe people who say always
Instead, I look at them with cynicism
And tell them, “that’s nice but I don’t believe you”

poetry: your replacement

this poem is inspired by a poem I wrote in 2006 about my first baby daddy.

he turned out just fine

He turned out fine without you in his life
I understand now that it was for the best
that you weren’t a part of his story
I no longer hold resentment for you
your replacement taught him
all of the important things
how to shave, how to drive
compassion and kindness
your replacement still checks up on him
even though he’s a grown
your replacement was never called Dad
but your replacement is the only father
he’s ever known