this modern world got my victorian and pure heart all fucked up don’t know which way is up don’t know which way is down don’t know what is right don’t know what is wrong I want someone’s hand to hold but they reach for my breast I want innocent kisses on the cheek but they reach for the heaven between my thighs
I wake up on a Sunday Mad and angry You’re not here In my arms Because I was too much I was too Insane Too old So I lay alone In tears that won’t fall Numb Wondering- When will I ever Find someone To take away The numbness Of the experience Of a life not loved Of a face not kissed Of an intimacy faked!
can’t imagine why anyone wants to fix this picture of perfection
everyone I meet wants to fix me my hair is wild and indomitable my grammar is atrocious my laugh is too loud and we can’t forget about my crooked teeth and while most of them mean well I wonder what’s so wrong with me that people always fixate on my flaws
my exes should all get a participation trophy for dating me, for marrying me, for putting up my madness for becoming muses of my poetry unwillingly, unintentionally for surviving the rollercoaster that is me
I hope this story is buried for a final time and you don’t pop up again and I have to play whack an asshole once again blocking you on yet another platform would the universe be kind enough this time for it to be good riddance forever cause I’m tired of my past mistakes to constantly come out of nowhere to disturb my present
Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out by Ian Garza
When the economy tanks, the air changes. People move differently. You feel it in the supermarket aisle, where heads tilt at price tags like they’re trying to solve a riddle in a foreign language. Maybe you’re there, pen hovering over a notebook, drafting your next pitch while wondering if peanut butter can be considered a luxury item now. Recessions have a way of pushing people into the deep end, but oddly, that’s where the best swimmers emerge. The trick is less about bracing for impact and more about learning to glide with the current. Here are seven ways to make the chaos work for you, journal in hand and mind on fire.
Cut Costs, Not Corners You don’t need to become a coupon-clipping caricature to start slicing your expenses with surgical precision. Start by conducting a cold, heartless audit of your monthly costs—subscriptions, takeout, half-used gym memberships—and ask yourself which of them you’d defend in a court of law. Reallocate the scraps toward things that either earn money or preserve your sanity. Groceries, for instance, offer massive wiggle room if you’re smart about what hits the cart—save money on groceries by swapping brand loyalty for nutritional label scrutiny. Don’t eat out of boredom or habit, eat with purpose. A recession isn’t a punishment; it’s a new set of rules, and frugality is a game you can win.
Skill Up or Ship Out Those who thrive during downturns don’t wait for job boards to dictate their worth. If your industry’s shaking like a leaf, shift your gaze toward sectors that don’t flinch when markets do—healthcare, IT, education, logistics. There’s a buffet of free online courses that can turn idle time into economic leverage. Learn Excel if you’re breathing. Pick up copywriting, coding, or UX design between episodes of that comfort show you’ve already seen four times. Skills are portable power, and adding new ones doesn’t just insulate your income—it inflates your confidence. The job may not be instant, but the momentum is.
The Side Hustle Shuffle You don’t need to start a Shopify store selling ornamental cacti to qualify as an entrepreneur, but having a second income stream isn’t a luxury anymore—it’s a survival tactic. Whether it’s reselling thrifted clothes or offering dog walking in your neighborhood, a side hustle doesn’t have to be revolutionary. It just has to work. Take an honest inventory of what you’re good at and find the angle—start a side hustle that fits into your existing life, not the other way around. It might start small, maybe laughably so, but consistency snowballs. One gig turns into a rhythm, and suddenly, your “just in case” income becomes your “thank God I did” lifeline.
Write It Out There’s something quietly defiant about writing things down when the world feels untethered. Journaling isn’t about profound revelations or poetic flair—it’s about evidence. Document your spending, your mood, your micro-victories. Create a log of sanity that future-you will be grateful for. The benefits of journaling during tough economic spells are both psychological and strategic—it can help you track your patterns, spot opportunities, and process fear without letting it drive. For writers, it’s a gym session. For everyone else, it’s cheap therapy that never talks back.
Invest in a Home Warranty Nothing torpedoes a fragile budget like a busted HVAC or a rogue refrigerator. When repair costs punch a surprise hole in your wallet, having a home warranty isn’t just smart—it’s protective armor. These plans can cover major systems and appliances, offering a reliable safety net when unexpected breakdowns hit. The key is picking coverage that doesn’t just slap a Band-Aid on the issue. Find one that includes the removal of defective units and protects against breakdowns caused by botched repairs or sloppy installs—this page is a good resource for comparing that kind of nuanced coverage. You’re not betting on things going wrong. You’re admitting they will, and preparing accordingly.
Community Over Chaos Isolation is expensive, both emotionally and practically. Reaching out to neighbors, local groups, or church networks isn’t just good manners—it’s fiscal strategy. There’s a staggering array of local community resources offering everything from food distribution to financial counseling, yet many go untapped. It’s not charity. It’s infrastructure—one that exists precisely for this kind of moment. Volunteering also doubles as networking. You help others while subtly reinforcing your own safety net, a win-win most spreadsheets can’t quantify.
Mind Over Money Financial fear corrodes slowly, eating away at confidence and sleep and even relationships. Address it like you would any other health issue—diagnose, manage, treat. Don’t ignore your stress or trivialize it. And don’t obsessively refresh stock tickers or headline feeds. Use breathing techniques, therapy apps, and if needed, professional help. Learn how to manage financial stress in a way that doesn’t involve locking yourself in a doomscroll loop until 2 a.m. The money part is real. The mental toll is realer. You need both ends intact if you’re going to make it through with anything resembling grace.
There’s no single blueprint for surviving a recession because recessions don’t care about blueprints. They bulldoze predictability and force reinvention. But they also burn away distractions and push people toward clarity. Whether you’re writing it out, hustling at night, or just trying to keep your fridge running without inviting financial ruin, the throughline remains the same: adapt with intention. You don’t have to thrive every day. You just need to keep moving—and that, on the worst days, is a kind of success all its own.
Discover the transformative power of poetry and personal storytelling at Life on the BPD, where creativity blooms and every verse is a step towards healing and empowerment.
I wrote this poem in June of 2024. It was inspired by the disappearance of little Latina girl in my area that I didn’t feel was getting enough media attention.
it’s how this story made me feel
I pray for the little brown girl lost in Gainesville the one that’s my son’s age the one that looks like my sister at that age the one who has my mami’s name I pray she’s found alive I pray that she finds warmth in her parents arms soon I pray more of a big deal is made out of her disappearance and she’s found quickly because I’m sure that if this little girl had been a jonbenet look alike more would have been done to find her and bring her back to her family her community that’s been missing her greatly
I’m ready for steak dinners and an expensive bottle of chardonnay shared over awkward getting to know you conversations with no expectations to put out I’ll be a completely different woman when I’m dating again a woman selective about who allows near her a woman who no longer seeks validation and attention from the wrong men
a glass of champagne in my hand as I raise a toast who I used to be a woman mentally ill and needy a woman who gave men easy access to her hips a woman who thought intimacy could only be created and felt in between her sheets we say goodbye to the his woman lovingly as we usher a new era of me a woman who knows her worth and won’t settle of anything less than she deserves
I look forward to the day when I’m no longer known as the writer with BPD when I no longer make my mental illness a part of my brand when I’m no longer dependent on my ex husband and antipsychotics to survive when I finally start to resemble something like a normal person and not the vehement emotional mess I usually am
you could have been my forever muse, my forever thot But like the others before you you don’t know what to do with a woman like me maybe my ingenuity is to blame for this wanting to live in a delusional daydream of love instead of grounding myself in reality and radically accepting love is just a four letter word in my vocabulary that wrecks and ruins my sanity