poetry: heaven

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

vibe: victorian and broody

this modern world got my victorian and pure heart all fucked up
don’t know which way is up
don’t know which way is down
don’t know what is right
don’t know what is wrong
I want someone’s hand to hold but they reach for my breast
I want innocent kisses on the cheek
but they reach for the heaven between my thighs

Poetry: Sunday

I wake up on a Sunday
Mad and angry
You’re not here
In my arms
Because I was too much
I was too Insane
Too old
So I lay alone
In tears that won’t fall
Numb
Wondering-
When will I ever
Find someone
To take away
The numbness
Of the experience
Of a life not loved
Of a face not kissed
Of an intimacy faked!

poetry: fix me

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

can’t imagine why anyone wants to fix this picture of perfection

everyone I meet wants to fix me
my hair is wild and indomitable
my grammar is atrocious
my laugh is too loud
and we can’t forget about my crooked teeth
and while most of them mean well
I wonder what’s so wrong with me
that people always fixate on my flaws

Privilege and luxury

Very Proud Daughter of Immigrants

What’s the one luxury you can’t live without?

Privilege and Luxury


Luxury looks like the chauffeur
who drives me and my sister
to ballet classes
and my brother to karate

Privilege tastes like eating garlic cloves
in bed with my bunny
who wears a knitted hat
made by my Mami

Luxury smells like el amuerzo
of rice and over easy eggs
the maid serves us

Privilege sounds like a bomb
going off near our house
one of its residents
loses his hearing because of it

Luxury feels like my mami understanding
terrorism is at her front door
and applying for U.S sponsorship
through a relative

Privilege is having parents
who crossed the border
for us and with us
out of love and for our safety

Poetry: Never

I can never compete

With a lifetime of love, of memories

Of him knowing her 

Even when she breaks his heart

Over and over and over again

Even when I let him break mine

Over and over and over again

It’s a vicious cycle of  love, heartbreak, and regret

A cycle where I continue to break my own heart

Because I will never be pretty or skinny 

Like her

I will never be enough!

poetry: participation trophy

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

me reading my poem “taco bell”

my exes should all get a participation trophy
for dating me, for marrying me,
for putting up my madness
for becoming muses of my poetry
unwillingly, unintentionally
for surviving the rollercoaster
that is me

poetry: whack an asshole

I wrote this poem in June of 2024.

for real

I hope this story is buried for a final time
and you don’t pop up again
and I have to play whack an asshole
once again
blocking you on yet another platform
would the universe be kind enough this time
for it to be good riddance forever
cause I’m tired of my past mistakes
to constantly come out of nowhere
to disturb my present

Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out

Image by Freepik

Recession-Proof: Staying Sharp When the Bottom Drops Out by Ian Garza

When the economy tanks, the air changes. People move differently. You feel it in the supermarket aisle, where heads tilt at price tags like they’re trying to solve a riddle in a foreign language. Maybe you’re there, pen hovering over a notebook, drafting your next pitch while wondering if peanut butter can be considered a luxury item now. Recessions have a way of pushing people into the deep end, but oddly, that’s where the best swimmers emerge. The trick is less about bracing for impact and more about learning to glide with the current. Here are seven ways to make the chaos work for you, journal in hand and mind on fire.

Cut Costs, Not Corners
You don’t need to become a coupon-clipping caricature to start slicing your expenses with surgical precision. Start by conducting a cold, heartless audit of your monthly costs—subscriptions, takeout, half-used gym memberships—and ask yourself which of them you’d defend in a court of law. Reallocate the scraps toward things that either earn money or preserve your sanity. Groceries, for instance, offer massive wiggle room if you’re smart about what hits the cart—save money on groceries by swapping brand loyalty for nutritional label scrutiny. Don’t eat out of boredom or habit, eat with purpose. A recession isn’t a punishment; it’s a new set of rules, and frugality is a game you can win.

Skill Up or Ship Out
Those who thrive during downturns don’t wait for job boards to dictate their worth. If your industry’s shaking like a leaf, shift your gaze toward sectors that don’t flinch when markets do—healthcare, IT, education, logistics. There’s a buffet of free online courses that can turn idle time into economic leverage. Learn Excel if you’re breathing. Pick up copywriting, coding, or UX design between episodes of that comfort show you’ve already seen four times. Skills are portable power, and adding new ones doesn’t just insulate your income—it inflates your confidence. The job may not be instant, but the momentum is.

The Side Hustle Shuffle
You don’t need to start a Shopify store selling ornamental cacti to qualify as an entrepreneur, but having a second income stream isn’t a luxury anymore—it’s a survival tactic. Whether it’s reselling thrifted clothes or offering dog walking in your neighborhood, a side hustle doesn’t have to be revolutionary. It just has to work. Take an honest inventory of what you’re good at and find the angle—start a side hustle that fits into your existing life, not the other way around. It might start small, maybe laughably so, but consistency snowballs. One gig turns into a rhythm, and suddenly, your “just in case” income becomes your “thank God I did” lifeline.

Write It Out
There’s something quietly defiant about writing things down when the world feels untethered. Journaling isn’t about profound revelations or poetic flair—it’s about evidence. Document your spending, your mood, your micro-victories. Create a log of sanity that future-you will be grateful for. The benefits of journaling during tough economic spells are both psychological and strategic—it can help you track your patterns, spot opportunities, and process fear without letting it drive. For writers, it’s a gym session. For everyone else, it’s cheap therapy that never talks back.

Invest in a Home Warranty
Nothing torpedoes a fragile budget like a busted HVAC or a rogue refrigerator. When repair costs punch a surprise hole in your wallet, having a home warranty isn’t just smart—it’s protective armor. These plans can cover major systems and appliances, offering a reliable safety net when unexpected breakdowns hit. The key is picking coverage that doesn’t just slap a Band-Aid on the issue. Find one that includes the removal of defective units and protects against breakdowns caused by botched repairs or sloppy installs—this page is a good resource for comparing that kind of nuanced coverage. You’re not betting on things going wrong. You’re admitting they will, and preparing accordingly.

Community Over Chaos
Isolation is expensive, both emotionally and practically. Reaching out to neighbors, local groups, or church networks isn’t just good manners—it’s fiscal strategy. There’s a staggering array of local community resources offering everything from food distribution to financial counseling, yet many go untapped. It’s not charity. It’s infrastructure—one that exists precisely for this kind of moment. Volunteering also doubles as networking. You help others while subtly reinforcing your own safety net, a win-win most spreadsheets can’t quantify.

Mind Over Money
Financial fear corrodes slowly, eating away at confidence and sleep and even relationships. Address it like you would any other health issue—diagnose, manage, treat. Don’t ignore your stress or trivialize it. And don’t obsessively refresh stock tickers or headline feeds. Use breathing techniques, therapy apps, and if needed, professional help. Learn how to manage financial stress in a way that doesn’t involve locking yourself in a doomscroll loop until 2 a.m. The money part is real. The mental toll is realer. You need both ends intact if you’re going to make it through with anything resembling grace.

There’s no single blueprint for surviving a recession because recessions don’t care about blueprints. They bulldoze predictability and force reinvention. But they also burn away distractions and push people toward clarity. Whether you’re writing it out, hustling at night, or just trying to keep your fridge running without inviting financial ruin, the throughline remains the same: adapt with intention. You don’t have to thrive every day. You just need to keep moving—and that, on the worst days, is a kind of success all its own.

Discover the transformative power of poetry and personal storytelling at Life on the BPD, where creativity blooms and every verse is a step towards healing and empowerment.

poetry: jon benet lookalike

I wrote this poem in June of 2024. It was inspired by the disappearance of little Latina girl in my area that I didn’t feel was getting enough media attention.

it’s how this story made me feel

I pray for the little brown girl lost in Gainesville
the one that’s my son’s age
the one that looks like my sister at that age
the one who has my mami’s name
I pray she’s found alive
I pray that she finds warmth in her parents
arms soon
I pray more of a big deal is made out of
her disappearance
and she’s found quickly
because I’m sure that if this little girl
had been a jonbenet look alike
more would have been done to find her
and bring her back to her family
her community
that’s been missing her greatly

poetry: awkward

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

I’m a classy bitch

I’m ready for steak dinners and an expensive bottle of chardonnay
shared over awkward getting to know you conversations
with no expectations to put out
I’ll be a completely different woman when I’m dating again
a woman selective about who allows near her
a woman who no longer seeks validation and attention
from the wrong men

poetry: glass of champagne

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

a toast to this woman

a glass of champagne in my hand as I raise a toast
who I used to be
a woman mentally ill and needy
a woman who gave men easy access to her hips
a woman who thought intimacy could only be created
and felt in between her sheets
we say goodbye to the his woman lovingly
as we usher a new era of me
a woman who knows her worth
and won’t settle of anything less
than she deserves

poetry: rebranding

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

soft girl energy

I look forward to the day when I’m no longer known as the writer with BPD
when I no longer make my mental illness a part of my brand
when I’m no longer dependent on my ex husband
and antipsychotics to survive
when I finally start to resemble something like a normal person
and not the vehement emotional mess I usually am

Poetry: False Stability *Trigger Warning*

The last time my ex fat shame me..

Appearances were kept well for 15 years

 the husband, the salaried job, the 3 offsprings

I pretended like everything was fine

And yet there were ominous signs

I never felt like my authentic self

and always felt false

I tried on this so called suburban bliss 

and mediocres routines

but knew it just wasn’t me

So I ended up in  profound misery

And one day I wanted to forever sleep

To forget my mediocre reality

 I took 15 numb feeling pills

one for every pseudo happy year

I wanted to slip into a forever dream

to never wake to my false stability 

poetry: four letter word

I wrote this poem in May of 2024.

imagine fumbling all of this

you could have been my forever muse, my forever thot
But like the others before you
you don’t know what to do with a woman like me
maybe my ingenuity is to blame for this
wanting to live in a delusional daydream of love
instead of grounding myself in reality
and radically accepting love is just a four letter word
in my vocabulary that wrecks and ruins my sanity

Poem : Numbness

Mood

The numbness comes back 

and there is nothing to fill the void

Running, drinking, dancing

Nothing stops the thoughts

about deleting myself

from this cesspool called life

What’s the point?

To love and get your heart 

crushed over and over and over again

I had come so far

and to think this one

was well different

But once again

I was wrong, so wrong

Love stories aren’t meant

for people like me

Because I’m too much,

Too hard, too crazy

To ever be truly loved

But I keep going, I keep continuing 

One step at a time,

One day at a time

to live

Because that’s the right and brave

thing to do